hey guys, just writing in this for a sec because i'm really bored. i'll tell about my past two days later when i feel better. i hate this time of the month so much it sucks. at least i'm lucky and it only lasts three days unlike other girls that can last up to seven days. haha i laugh in your face if your one of those girls. hehe. ouch and my toe hurts, i better take some drugs for my toe pain and cramps. see ya!

Mood: Miserable

Music: Nickelback - Someday

wow, i have not written in this in like the longest time ever! so much has happened I mean i don't think i can remember it. i was really pissed that last day I written in this huh? well after I wrote the I ran away for awhile so yeah. I don't hate my daddy I love him. well catch up to date shall we? wow did I explain about the favor I did for a friend? well I went done to planned parenthood for a friend of mine with francesca. boy it would have been nice if I actually had known where the place was. umm my parents got kind of mad at me because I was late home and they thought it was for me but everything was fine after I explained what happened. my mommy turned 46 or 47 i really don't know and that was fun we got her lots of presents. I started swimming so that means everyday now I wake up at 4:00am. fun for me huh? i went got my first pedicure at Frenchy's. thats a really fun place. I still have the polish on. i should go again. I went to twin tolo with my best friend Stephen. that was fun. actually i had more fun before and afterwards with just the two of us for shhhh dont tell him i didn't have fun at the dance. i've spent a lot of time hanging with Sara S. which a lot of fun. we have had some pretty good times. we are so random like how after we were buzzed we went to qfc and got double shots in our pjs and these guys were so hitting on us and then we chatting online to random people. that was fun. then last weekend we went out to dariy queen and then just drove around, that was fun and random. i enjoy hanging out with Sara, shes just like me. Julia and I of course hang out a lot too. last time I did we went to the odea football game then watched movies and then the next day we played tennis and went to a thing for dani and then hung out with these guys, but really they were just standing around talking, joking and drinking so it really wasn't that fun. o'dea football games are fun but cold. been meeting some guys there. i got my car and i love it. although i accidently hit a pole in the morning when i did a tight u-turn but theres only a slight crack on the front bumper so its okies. but sara kind of backed into it at her house so theres also a little dent but shhhh no ones noticed yet. winter ball is coming up and people wanted me to take michael but he sort of broke his leg so ya know I don't think I can dance with a gimp so hes out of the question now. I would take stephen but dani asked me if she could take him so I said she could. Stephen and I have been going out a lot lately, and calling each other a lot lately too. not that I mind it, mind you its just I don't know. people think we are going out now and guys at o'dea say thats whats stephen's saying but i don't know. are we really? is it okies for two people to go out together without having anything romantic? why would that be called dating? i don't know. its just confusing i guess. although i dont think i would mind if there was more to our relationship. its funny, i think i could see him as my boyfriend. hmmm, i dont know. i really like him as a friend but as more? i guess i kind of do. but i really dont want to think about it. it'll just bother me. hes the one that got me so deathly sick ya know. him and the combination of my sis and going out with sara on thursday and going to see elf with her on friday that made me this sick. i missed school today. i had a test review, a test and a quiz. oh well. my mom says I should probably miss tomorrow. i love my mom. shes the best mother in the world. man so many good songs out. made a whole new cd again. second one in two weeks. but i better go, everwood is on now. i cant miss it, although last week made me terribly mad. then tomorrow omg yes one tree hill. i love that show! its my favorite show. i've watched every single show. then I like the o.c. too but i missed last weeks oh well. it snowed too last weekend. pretty cool huh? you know what I found out? i get to see my best friend that moved to wisconsin in january hopefully. I might get to fly out there and visit her. i certainly like that idea. hopefully my parents will let me but i bet they will. today while i was home sick, three guys were here putting in new windows up stairs and you know what? the ugliest one walked in on me in the bathroom! how sick is that? i was completely appalled. thought i should share that. anyways i really gotta go and watch my shows so talk in this later!

I HATE MY FUCKING "FATHER" WITH A PASSION! He did it. He drove me over the edge and I let him have a little taste of 16 years of bottled up anger for him and he got it. If he only knew that I wanted to runaway forever from him. I truly just wanted to run far away but I can't leave my mom or sister. But I can leave him. Hopefully this is an insight of how much I want mommy to divorce him and I think she is really considering it now. When I yelled at him he was crazy with rage and she got scared. Oh my god you do not even know just how much I want to wring his fat neck. Hes no use in my life, he should stay out it!

Mood: Loving

Music: Ginuwine - Open Arms

hello. wow long time no talkies. trying to write a 5 page essay dur tomorrow. so far got 3 paragraphs and 3 pages done. i'm finally off of restricten from being a naughty girl. but yesterday i could have been back on all because i went to planned parenthood to get a morning after pill for a friend. hope she got it. i do not want a mexican baby. lol. well did laps today. that was interesting and sad. i'm so out of shape. poor shawn. some kid jumped on his arm and spined his shoulder. i should get a hold of him or send him a get well card. i'm excited for the weekend. my first weekend free. i'm going to go to the football game for o'dea and cheer them on. hey i should call up stephen and tell him to come along. anyways i better get-a-going aand finish my paper and then drift off into my fanasties. i swear i have so many that I could write a book or a play or a movie or something. anyways bye bye.

Mood: Hate

Music: Hateful, loud music

I seriously hate my dad. I really do. There is absoutly no ifs, ands or buts about it. Why doesn't my mother just divoirce him so I can chose of course to live with my mother and then I could if I wanted (which I do) never see him again. He makes my life a living hell. I know I was way back in the day a daddy's girl but now no matter how hard I try I can never enjoy his company. Just everything from the way he acts and "playfully" hits me and makes fun of me is just so fucking annoying. I swear if he keeps it up I may be pushed over the edge. You know I'm glad he got this job that makes him travel. Then I can live a week without him. You know I am terrible but sometimes when hes around and he just pissed me off, I silently wish that when he flies that his plane crushes. I also get pleasure in pissing him off. hahaha. I do not care if I am restricted longer because you know what I do not fucking care. Nothing ever gets through to me. I do not see how restricting me will teach me any lessons. Nothing will. I hope he reads this so then he can find out how much I dislike him. Maybe this will get through to him to change his ways and hopefully stay out of my life. He hates me and I hate him and nothing can ever change that. I am fed up with this shit. I need to go release some of this anger.

Mood: Tired, feeling sick

Music: none

Hey guys! Wow haven't written in this for a while. Well this is practically my only mode of communtication besides email which I get very little of. I did something bad on Saturday night/Sunday morning that has me grounded for 6 months or until my mom and I talk. Anyways watching The Real World right now then I'm watching Newlyweds. I get my car still this weekend so I'm happy about that. Too bad I don't get to go to the Back to School Dance though. Oh well there will be other dances throughout the year. Hmm do I still got homework? Nope, just got to read over my Chemistry notes one more time for the test tomorrow and I'll be all set. So I'm going to go now, and hopefully I'll write in this soon. Bye!

Mood: Chillin like a Villian

Music: Aaron Carter - I'm All About You

Howdy! Talking to one of my homi-bois Nathan. I get my car from my brother next weekend so I'm extremely excited about that. Umm, gotta write notes to Julia, Jessie and Brad or else, so since I'm bored I'm going to go do that. See ya!